Mind Over Judgment: Lessons from a Workout and Mental Health Talk
Ian Murray, LCMHC
We had the opportunity to participate in an event with a local non-profit, Mentally Shredded. The event consisted of a workout and a discussion about mental health. During the discussion, many reflected on their experiences. Participants shared many things, but an underlying theme was present for many during the discussion and for me during the workout. It had nothing to do with fitness or connection but rather judgment—mainly our tendency as humans to judge our experiences. Negative judgment is a process in which our brain attempts to make sense of situations and help us avoid discomfort or pain. However, many, myself included, can benefit from changing their relationships with judgment. It takes practice, but there are steps you can take to reduce integral judgments and their impact on your life.
First, be able to notice judgment statements or words. Some common negative judgments are "This is too hard, I can't, this is too uncomfortable, I don't like this, when will this end, etc.." Noticing the judgment will give you control over how you respond to them. Judgments are a part of how humans think, but many of us act immediately on judgments. By recognizing our judgments and reactions to them, we change our relationship with them. Our negative judgments can lead us away from what is truly valuable and important and even prevent us from achieving our goals. Often, they are subtle, but taking the time to recognize situations or common judgmental thoughts is vital to changing how we react to them.
Second, be curious about your judgments. Why am I having them? Is this something that I need to take into consideration? Reframing it as advice or information from a friend can be helpful. Often, when we receive advice, we consider its impact and the consequences of acting and then decide on a course of action. However, with negative judgment, we often take it at face value. For example, during the workout, I found myself saying, "I need to stop; this is too difficult." I then ask myself, why is this coming up? Often, it's because I don't know how much longer I will feel uncomfortable and want it to end. When we act on our judgments, it reinforces the judgment as truth. When that judgment becomes reinforced enough, we react more quickly, creating cycles and patterns of behavior that may limit us.
Finally, consider the validity of the judgment. Do I need to stop, or would it be better just to be comfortable right now? What reasons do you have to continue to be uncomfortable despite the judgment? There are times when internal judgment should be listened to, say, to prevent injury. However, many are quick to accept negative judgments without thought or consideration. If the negative judgment does not fit into your long-term goals, or it will prolong discomfort, attempt to lean into the discomfort. Changing the way you react to a negative judgment will have a domino effect. It can foster resilience, lead us to the things we want, and help us recognize our capabilities.
Listening to our thoughts and internal cues is essential. Often, our negative judgments are split-second interpretations from our brains that can be incomplete or inaccurate. Learning to change our relationships with how we react to judgments through awareness, curiosity, and leaning into discomfort comes with significant benefits, allowing us to live in accordance with our values and closer to our goals.
