Balancing It All
Ian Murray, LCMHC
Balance is a word that has become a commonplace term. Between the inundation of notifications, emails, calls, and schedules of a busy life, we hear that we should have more balance. But what does that really mean? Many feel that balance means giving up something or changing something to create something new. This concept is usually scary, as the idea of losing or giving up something comes with feared consequences: losses, disappointment in oneself or others, or feelings of failure. If we look at balance literally, these outcomes are all things we have experienced or anticipated. But what if we changed the way we perceive balance? What if balance is meant to reflect our energy and perception of what we are doing—not simply the reality of the things we have to do or that are in front of us? Instead of cutting things out of our lives to add more in, could we adjust the way we view things and the energy we bring to them? There are ways to manage balance without giving up everything or making radical changes.
First, view things as impermanent whenever possible.
Most things have a start and an end time frame. However, many of us view the tasks before us as needing to be done immediately. If we can zoom out from the pressures of the present moment, we can see the impermanence of what’s in front of us and adjust how much energy we put into it.
Second, approach what you do without judgment.
Sometimes, our judgment of a situation is what creates imbalance—not the reality of the situation. If we judge ourselves for not completing a task, or for doing something for ourselves, we may perceive it as selfish, lazy, or weak. If we lose the judgment and simply state the fact that we weren’t able to get to something, or that we did something for ourselves, we can find balance while still attending to commitments and needs.
Finally, be more selective with your energy.
We all have priorities and values in life. If we clarify what is most important to us and our time, we can find balance through prioritizing our values, not judging ourselves for those priorities, and returning to other things when we can. Living through a values-driven lens gives us the opportunity to look back on actions taken—or not taken—with reason and clarity, rather than focusing on what we didn’t or couldn’t do. When we accept what we have done based on our values, we spend less time dwelling on what was left undone.
